The REAL Reason Long John Silver squinted that one eye??

Remember that old 1950 movie, Treasure Island, from Robert Louis Stevenson's book?  It was the one that made the character of Long John Silver famous and made every kid in the country from that day to this associate pirates with  peg-legged guys who squint say, "ARRRRR!!!"   Our thanks for that characterization go to actor Robert Newton, who played Long John.   Those who are real lovers of the story will know that Long John had a parrot called Captain Flint.

As far as I can tell, there was never an explanation for why Long John squinted the way he does in the photo over there.  Well, I think I have the solution to this 60 year mystery.

See, as you know, I own parrots.  If you've never lived with a hookbill you won't already know that parrots, cockatoos, macaws, and their relatives have very specific rules by which they live.  (well, ALL birds do, but I only live with the 3 hookbills).  One of the most important rules is, "Whoever is highest up in the tree gets to be the boss!"  Yes, friends, THAT is why you find birds at the tops of trees and lamposts and so forth - whoever has his or her head above the rest of the flock gets to tell the rest what to do.

Now, you might think that since humans are SO much bigger than birds our superiority and rank above them would be obvious even to them but you'd be wrong.  Size means little to birds; in fact I often wonder if ours consider Al and me beneath them because we (poor, ugly creatures that we are) can't fly at ALL and don't grow even the smallest feathers!  Birds have a very stilted point of view, stemming from the fact that they're evolved from dinosaurs, and have been doing things their way for oh, about 250 MILLION years.

Because of this, when they measure whose head is highest in the flock, if a bird is sitting on your shoulder it is entirely certain that its head is higher than yours, making the BIRD YOUR MASTER!!!  No, I'm not kidding!  It's a huge mistake EVER to let a bird (yes, even a tiny parakeet or finch!) sit on your shoulder because for as long as birdy is there, He IS The Boss Of You! 

Go ahead - ask your favorite vet if it's true.  I'll wait...          

Back now?  Yeah - I love being right...

Now, there's a famous picture of Robert Newton as Long John Silver with Captain Flint on his shoulder.  There it is, below.  Oh, Captain Flint was characterized as a female, by the way, because the bird was supposed to be a mockery of Long John's former captain. (I thought you'd like to know)

Now, knowing  what we do about parrots and shoulders, it would only be a matter of time before she had her way with him and found at some point she had to discipline or punish him.  Thus, you could probably surmise that the photo to the left could be titled, "BEFORE" and one on the right could be titled, "AFTER".

Uh huh, see it?  I'm right, aren't I?  It's the correct shoulder and everything.  Yeah.  Now you know.  Never let that bird sit on your shoulder.  Lesson learned, right?  Yah. 

Glad to help -